So I went to see Pat's doctor with my chest

He's a very nice chap, but he does remind me of Louis de Funès - I am sure they must be related.

Anyway he listened to my breathing, listened to my cough, looked down my throat and then recommended :

1) inhalations of olbas oil or similar

2) a codeine based anti-tussive for when I have to talk and need to avoid coughing

3) that I consider seeing someone about sleep apnoea, because I have a very large tongue

4) that I have a colonoscopy perhaps every two or three years.

We discussed sleep apnoea first. Briefly. We discussed the prospect of a colonoscopy in more ... depth.

I said, "the thing is, Doctor, the human body has been designed with entrances and exits, and it is inadvisable to confuse them."

"yes, but with your family history".

I thought of my two sisters, both considerably my senior but neither having had a colonoscopy...

"Yes, seeing that your father died at 49."

"No ! 69, 69 !"

"Oh that's different then. You can just do the stool-test."

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