Well I had hoped it wouldn't come to this

but we bought a mower.

Oh, it's such a funky little thing! You'd love it!

It's made by Black and Decker, and I found it on Amazon. It's a strimmer that clips into a sort of go-kart affair which enables you to strim the lawn at a constant height thanks to the wheels of said go-kart. You can also unclip it to strim, or to edge - the head turns through 180° for that - and then to store it on the funky plastic shelves on the funky balcony.

It's so light and easy to use - it's just like hoovering, and it's just right so far for our little patch of grass.

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