Combatting the heat wave

1) Close windows and shutters by day

2) Open windows and shutters by night

This is because at night the temperature can fall by as much as 3 degrees -  the difference between a fiercely-boiled brain and a slow-simmered brain, though it does allow free access for the nocturnal blood-sucking mosquitos.

3) Spray water on your face from a Conn Trombone Slide Water Spray Bottle

4) Wear a knotted handkerchief on your head and roll up your trousers

5) Drink lots and lots

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