les Davey de France

My dear ophthalmologist is very thorough, so when he discovered an "anomaly" in my optic nerves he decided to send me for various tests : MRI scans of my head x 2 Doppler imaging of my carotid arteries and those which feed my eyes. A night at the sleep clinic to explore the possibility of sleep apnea. My own doctor was somewhat sceptical. Do you nap? How long for? Every day? Who is this Dr.? Anyway, the sleep clinic is run by a psychiatrist, and you have to fill in all sorts of questionnaires about your sleeping habits. I filled them in honestly, I promise, and my score was very low, but she said, "you have a long head and I'd like you to do the overnight sleep test and for us to have a good poke around in your sinuses". I came out feeling worse than when I went in. A year passed without me hearing anything, so I wondered if she'd decided not to bother, but then on my next visit to the ophthalmologist he told me to contact them. Some message had gone into sp...

Saturday 13/7 I finally felt more like myself again, though it seemed unwise to wander far from a good toilet. That makes 10 days of gastro-enteritis! Sunday I was able to preach.  Monday I was pretty washed out and good for nothing. Meanwhile Pat's back was responding well to painkillers, rest and gentle exercise. Tuesday we went into the café, travelling by bus'd'sub on the way there and bus 9 coming back (never again!). Our tram that takes us to church and to the café is currently having some major engineering works, so it's out of commission until next week. The city lays on relay buses (bus'd'sub, for bus de substitution), which are slow, hot and crowded. They follow, more or less, the route the train would take. We decided to take bus 9 along the boulevard to come back, but it's slow, long and crowded, too. Worse than the bus'd'sub. Wednesday, yesterday, we got to the café on time by taking an earlier bus'd'sub, then decided to make the...

 On Wednesday I returned to the house and immediately suffered symptoms of a tummy bug. Rest, liquids and a light diet resulted yesterday in this getting much worse, with shivers, sweats and a fever. It's very frustrating - there are things I need to be doing. In addition we have a friend staying with us and I'm effectively in purdah. I suppose the main priority is to get well, so today it's plentiful liquids and no diet at all. Let's see if we can flush this out.

Almost all my tests are now done. I've had an MRI of my pituitary gland and environs, an ultra-sound scan with doppler imagery of my carotid arteries an another MRI of my brain and eye-sockets. This morning I had a video consultation with my family doctor so he could interpret the various results for me - some is in French medical vocabulary that it might be wiser not to Google! All that remains is a sleep study to ensure that I breathe all night. He said, "This is all good news. There is no evidence of anything ever having happened in your brain." He probably meant anything untoward..  Yes, surely, anything untoward.

 The ophthalmologist noting an "anomaly" on my optic nerves, he ordered a series of tests which will happen on a month from February to May. February was a Doppler Ultrasound scan of my carotid arteries and of those which feed the eyes. The doctor turned out to be a long-lost cousin from Brittany, he found nothing untoward and we parted vowing to search each other out next time there's a family reunion. (It's a celt thing). March was today, and an MRI of my pituitary gland to look for any inflammation that might have affected my optic nerves. The scan found quite the contrary, a pituitary on the small side. Next, in April, I see a psychiatrist for a sleep study. I have six questionnaires to fill out first.  Then in May another MRI of another part of my head. I'm half-way through, and that's very encouraging because these tests tend to set off attacks of hypochondria.

Four rendez-vous had to be made. Two seemed relatively straightforward. Firstly an ultrasound scan of my carotid arteries and the arteries supplying my eyes. Secondly a sleep consultant to explore possible apnoea. Thirdly an MRI of parts of my head to explore possible inflammation. The first two were quickly made via our website doctolib. The third was far more complicated. Different MRI machines do different things. I found a clinic, who said to contact them in two weeks' time. Meanwhile my own doctor suggested that his secretary could find me an appointment. I asked her - she found me two - on in March, one in May. The issue is an anomaly on both optic nerves which does not affect my vision. This was first noticed a year ago my the ophthalmologist and has not changed since that time. Well on Monday I rolled up at the clinic at 9:00 for my ultrasound.  "Sorry, we can't do this. You've booked an ultrasound and you need an ultrasound-doppler. We do that here bit it'...

 has begun. Thus far have I been bitten on my heel (the VERY FIRST TIME I wore sandals this year) and in the small of my back. Meanwhile the dengue and chikungunya bearing tiger mosquito has colonized almost the entire hexagon of mainland France, hesitating only before breaching the borders of Brittany or piercing the polar plains of the extreme northerly departments.

My home syringing proved ineffective, so I asked my GP (in France, généralissime) to look down my ears with his little intraauriculoscope.  "Hmm, that's a job for the ORL", he said. So it was that yesterday evening I found myself in the charming Augustin district of Bordeaux at the ORL's cabinet. It's a family business with mother and daughter being orthoptists (I looked it up but I'm still a bit foxed) and father being an ORL. He was a charming man, addressing me as "Cher monsieur" and it didn't sound odd, contrived or even outdated.  Just as well, really, as he proceeded to hoover out the inside of my lug holes before using alarmingly long probes to scrape out gobs of evil-looking goo. "I won't get an infection?", I asked.  I got one once after a doctor in Cardiff used their new electric syringe machine and put me in agony such that I cried into my pillow every night for days on end. "No, we'll give you drops."  I th...

 She's been ill since Friday and tested positive this morning.

 Vocabulary is always a challenge. For example, what about the range of different kinds of pain, like ache, throb, stabbing pain, discomfort ? I only know two, I think... douleur and courbatures. As well as the old mal à la tête, mal à la gorge, etc... It seems quite important to me to know whether something aches, throbs or stabs, but I'd have to launch into quite a long speech to explain it in French. Thankfully on this occasion pain wasn't part of the issue, and I had most of the words I needed. Respirer , s'allonger, le fauteuil, constricte, bronchodilateur - though it turns out this one needs a bit more tatata in it. it's dilatatation , so bronchodilatatateur . Or I think that's what he said. You have to remember that a cough is a girl - la toux , and to cough is tousser ... oo, oo, oo, never ü, ü, ü. How do you address yourself to the doctor? I asked a friend. Can you say, Bonjour Docteur ? Bonjour Toubib ? Bonjour M. le Médecin ? What is appropriate ? As it ...

 We got back Tuesday evening and a happy and full week of activity awaited us. Wednesday was Bible study and prayer at the home of a couple who live in one of the suburbs - Mérignac. It's quite a hoof from the tramline, so you switch to the bus and the journey, though not long, takes up to an hour. Sometimes I reserve a pool car but it takes just as long because of having to get around the city centre, then negotiate a maze of different routes. The evening was good, however. Wednesday morning we had met up to work through the statutes for the association which will run the café-style centre in front of the church building. We met in one of the local coffee-shops and I drank a great flat white to kick-start my little grey cell. Then it was preparation. We changed our preaching schedule a while ago but, still high on San Sebastián, I totally forgot so launched into reflexion on Luke 3, instead of the end of Luke 2. Luke 3 is a fascinating chapter and Rory will preach that this coming...

It all started when I changed doctor. My old doctor in Villenave had dissuaded me from running. "We are not made to run," she said, "but to walk".  So instead of running for 30 minutes about three times a week I walk most days to either Carrefour or Lidl and come back with a rucksack of shopping. I walk like an old guy who's scared of missing his train. It's not pretty, it's not sporty, but it is somewhat rushed. It isn't the same, though, and now that the area is starting to take shape, and there are fewer heavy lorries and more places that might be OK for running I'd like to get back to it. So I asked my new doctor. He was quite positive about it, but he wanted to send me to a cardiologist for a stress test to make sure I'm not going to suffer any ill effects.  "Who do you want to see?" asked the secretary, as if I knew anything about it. I chose the nearest. Pat had been sent to him so I knew where his surgery is. Well... I'v...

 The letter came last week and told me to go and get myself vaccinated against the 'flu from 26th October. I made a mental note. Yesterday evening I recalled my mental note and decided to call the pharmacy to arrange a vaccination. So this morning at about 9am I took action on my decision. "Hallo. It's for the anti-'flu vaccinations. It starts next week. Do I need to make an appointment?" "We've started today. They've brought the date forward and you can just come in with your letter." So in went I went and in went the needle. No blood, so no sticking plaster.  Off I went again.

 So a visit to the doctor was due. For some years I have frequented a doctor in Villenave, the town where we first rented a little house in France. She’s great. She’s also 30 minutes tram ride and 20 minutes walk away. Meanwhile two new young doctors have opened their offices 10 minutes walk from our flat. The one doctor is an hairy doctor, bearded and with a man bun. The other doctor is a smooth doctor, shaven headed. I went to see the hairy doctor with a little list of issues. Among them : Is my left ear blocked? I have the stuff from the pharmacist but I cannot manage to look down my own ear, no matter how I try. I’d very much like it if you could peer down my ear and relate what you perceive. He looked. It is. So am I doing the best thing? I have xylene drops and a rubber ear squirting bulb. What about using hydrogen peroxide (eau oxygénée) or bicarbonate of soda ?  He shuddered at the idea. No, xylene is the good stuff. Carry on. Another question concerned mosquito bites....

At the pharmacy : "Do you have anything for when your ear is blocked with cerumen, some drops, perhaps ?"  The assistant went to a small display of assorted drops for when your ear is blocked with cerumen, including cotton buds and alarming rubber spiral gizmos for drilling into your lughole.  I gulped. "This is what you need. These drops. The instructions are on the box." "And do I need any cotton wool* to block up my ear with the drops in?" (I said ouâte de cellulose , I hope this is correct, I have a vague memory of this word and I can't be bothered to look it up having spent a week looking up words like Rückfahrkarte and Putenschnitzel - this latter is not rude.) "You have to rinse it." "Rinse it?" "Yes, rinse it" showing me the box which said, "il faut le rincer" = you have to rinse it. "With what shall I rinse it?" quoth I, "with tepid water?" "Yes, with tepid water. Do you have one...

Pat made an appointment with our local physiotherapist - the doctor had given her a prescription for however many sessions it takes - for Monday 16 August. We had walked up and found his office on the way to the pizza place, but you make your appointment on Doctolib - the website and app that lots of medical folk work with. However he caught covid, so he phoned her to postpone the appointment by a week. That meant she went along yesterday. While she was there I scurried off to Lidl to get fruit and vegetables and succeeded in not buying a steam cleaner, a food mixer and a sander - or the tempting ice-creams they had put right by the tills! By the time I was halfway over the bridge back home Pat was out of the physio so we met up and walked back together. He'll see her twice a week and meanwhile she is to walk for at least 10 minutes a day. That's not so hard for us! We generally walk much more than that! Meanwhile a newspaper report yesterday said that in France in the 1950s th...

 From time to time friends in the UK contact me to ask if articles in the Spectator or the Telegraph accurately reflect life in France just now.  Take it from me that they don't, but do still contact me about them. Here's why they are not accurate. Imagine I assessed the situation in the UK from, say, the articles you can find in the Guardian. Would that accurately reflect life in the UK just now? What about life in Camden? What about in life in Scotland? What about life in Cornwall? I choose the Guardian because for the moment it is freely accessible. I can't read articles from the Times or the Telegraph without paying a fee. There's a paywall. But I realise that I have to read with care. Free of charge does not mean free of bias. Newspapers and magazines are not neutral. They have a political viewpoint to convey that is found in every article they publish. Even when they present statistics and undeniable facts, the facts and statistics  will be selected to prove a poi...

 On Monday Pat left the flat for the first time and took a ride in the lift then round the yard of the blocks of flats. Tuesday she went a little further. On Wednesday we made it as far as the Station, or at least the the really nice little pizzeria opposite the station. The pizza was excellent. Certainly in my top 5 pizzas ever. After that Thursday was a little calmer. But today we tried for a place we'd never tried before. It was closed. So we ended up going MUCH further, even into Carrefour before coming home. Next Monday she starts physiotherapy. Meanwhile I am not due to preach for the next two Sundays - we were supposed to visit our son and daughter-in-law in the UK. I told the guys I could preach if they wanted, but they are maintaining their engagements, so we met up to do some prep together on Thursday. Otherwise we're taking these two weeks as holiday. That means not getting folk round for lunch and discussions and so on. It means I can concentrate on just keeping the...

 Get it all over in one foul sweep, that's what I say. Then, if you're careful crossing the road, you may not see another white coat till next year. Anyway I went to get my eyes checked. My vision has improved since last year, apparently. The long sightedness of my advancing years is cancelling out the short-sightedness caused by my failing focusing muscles. The doctor examined the back of my eyes, too.  "These drops will sting and you won't be able to drive home."  "As long as I can walk and get on the tram." My eyes were fine, I can carry on with the same glasses, I can carry on being indiscipline and forget to take them with me. Basically I can do almost whatever I like and my eyes will cope fine. But when I left the ophthalmologist's, boy was I in trouble. I think the drops dilate your pupils because even with my dark glasses I was dazzled by everything.EVERYTHING!  I managed to make it across the road, I think the traffic all stopped for me, but...

 My father lived all his life, except the last week, without a telephone. In contrast I have accumulated : Postal addresses Telephone Mobile telephone Text messaging Email Facebook Facebook messenger Skype. Twitter messages Google messenger WhatsApp Zoom Signal STOP! It's TOO MUCH! Here's the deal.  On 1 June I am leaving WhatsApp and Signal.  On 31 December 2025 at the latest I am leaving Facebook. (We use it for the church) If you want to contact me send an email. I check my emails and keep my unread mail at 0. If you need to contact me immediately send a text message. If you need to speak to me use my mobile phone.