I have to go on an aeroplane soon

http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/magazine/16-03/st_howto

but it's only Bordeaux to Bristol, two small airports where the security men probably know your entire family and they outnumber the passengers anyway, so getting through the queues quickly is not an issue.

But for those who fly stateside here's an article on getting through security quickly. You have to guess at the meaning of some of it, eg.

You might as well check your dignity curbside. Forget any ideas of dignity ?

Your MacBook. The latest pageturner bought cheaply and quickly ?

Below is a section on how to survive an avalanche. Here in the Gironde we get occasional snow but the chances of an avalanche are absolutely zero !

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