Ils sont fous, ces Français! (They're crazy, these French)

A few weeks ago we had to do this exercise in writing, where we had to define 10 non-existent words. We also had to do an advert for a revolutionary new rotating spaghetti fork. Today we got our marks back, together with the DEFLE 4° dictionary. We then had to write something in some style of our choice using 5 words from the DEFLE 4° dico.

Later today I'll post some of the words and their definitions. Some of these really ought to exist. Each time I'll post my definition and also the one I think was the best. I'll also post my citation.

Boussaper: To slap somone in the mouth to shut them up. / To produce energy by burning cow-dung. J'étais en train de révéler l'identité de l'assassin quand, tout à coup, quelqu'un m'a boussapé! (Frank Vargas, Tais-toi tueur)

Crinche-clapon: A little wall put round the bath to keep in the splashes when children are having a bath. / Little bootees worn by elderly people to stop them slipping. Hector, mets vite le crinche-clapon, il y a une gouttière! (Gaston Langiosse, Les Enfants du XIXe siècle)

Eçoire: a woman who, though not pregnant, needs a seat in a bus or to yield your seat to a woman in a bus / To make a dog bark. Henri, éçois cette pauvre femme! Elle va tomber dans les pommes! (Henri Cartier, Politesse oblige)

Empitage: the growth of a spot of acne / a game where the goal is to define non-existent words. Bouter empêche l'empitage - dès la première application! (publicité)

Ferdille: the nails and screws that are missing from self-assembly furniture / a strand of hair coloured to stand out. Un, deux ... cinq ferdilles ! C'est de pire en pire ! (Pierre Baguedeau, Le Bon bricoleur)

Jaspiner: to read books about gardening without ever doing any / to speak ill of someone without realising that they can hear you. Je n'ai jamais le temps de jardiner, mais je jaspine souvent. (DeGaulle, La Vie des grands hommes)

Naillure: Birds' plumage that changes colour with changing light / abbreviation of "nowhere else" in Bordeaux patois Le pic épeiche, son magnifique naillure rayonnant dans l'aube d'été (Hume, R, Oiseaux de France et d'Europe)

Polunatheur: father of several children by the same wife / an old smelly bus Il connaît tous les jeux infantins car il est polunatheur (La Bruyère, Les Caractères)

Quitons: The left-overs of a meal left by children, eaten by their mother (for this one I really think my definition is the best) La première cause de l'obésité chez les femmes est la consommation de quitons. (I can't put the book there because it really exists. I found it on Amazon France, and its title means "I eat therefore I am")

Sarplie: An elderly lady stooped by long service washing floors (I'm proud of this one, too) Cette sarplie si douce, qui m'avait servi toute ma vie, est morte ... étouffé par sa propre serpillière. (M. Pagnol, Le château de mon père) I changed the name of this book to avoid confusion.

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